sad but trying to be happy

i'm getting this odd feeling..i'm actually very sad but i'macting as if everything around me is ay-OK.. i DO NOT want the word sad to actually appear in my life but what is a girl to do?i will have to listen to my parents advices me to do and i will obey them eventhough it will hurt me a little.. because i know everything happens for a reason..
hmm..actually i'm feeling a lil' bit better right now..efan is coming this evening and i'm gonna bug him to eat McDonalds today eventho' i know he's gonna be really full..efan usually eats his lunch late in the evening..pfft..oh,what the hell,i'm gonna paksa him..heh

shera,if u are reading this,i have some opinion that i wanna share with u and i hope u can explain this matter to me secara "open-minded" because this "particular" fenomena is really making me feel paranoid